It's because you're like Job

It's because you're just like "Job"

Why do people feel they HAVE to have an uplifting remark every time they see me or my son.  It seems there are 3 groups of people in this world as it relates to the special needs community....

There's the  group that just interacts with everyone they meet as needs and life direct with no agenda  whatsoever.  (I like these guys the best)  no fuss, no frills....just life .

There's the "A hole" that I wrote an entire book about that doesn't realize how inconsiderate and ignorant his behavior or comments are.

...and there's the well meaning, well intended do gooder that always feels that they HAVE to say something encouraging.  It's like that one person you know that has an inspirational quote for everything and you can't be around them without being assaulted by uplifting philosophy...

....we're  going to talk about the last one for a minute....

OK, here's the disclaimer...I am a Christian myself.... never said a good one; just said I am one.  But this fellow Christian nonsense of comparing parents of special needs children to Job needs to go the way of the Buffalo.

Stop it!  No I'm not! and especially NO MY CHILD IS NOT!

If you tell me that I'm just like Job from the Bible, you've just told me and my son that he's just a tragic event that has happened to me to test my resolve for God.

Is he not his own individual in God's care?  Should we really be likening human beings caring for one another to this story any longer?  Does my son deserve to hear blatantly in front of his face that he has been selected as a means to torment his family?  That his very existence is the definition of torment and struggles? That he is likened to the boils that afflicted Job?

 Please people, stop this insanity.

Oh please....who is this helping?

Sure,. tell me the story of Job when my house burns down, when my husband loses his job, when I get cancer or when a tornado sweeps away my crops..  or heck even when I run out of chocolate ice cream.

But don't, no matter how well meaning you are, walk up to me thinking you have the love of God in your heart tell me in the presence of my son how I should use the difficulty of "having to care for a child like this" to prove how God has helped me overcome such tragedy.

So many things can be said, not said, or done when you feel awkward or desperate to help rather than this.  Instead of struggling awkwardly to figure out what to say or a story to tell,  realize that WE DO NOT NEED YOU TO SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.  Consider that the person you've just "likened" to Job, may actually use this experience as a reason to shy away from Christianity.  They might even be led to think  that you are suggesting that God Punished their child intentionally.  Who in their right mind would go nearer to a crowd of people subscribing to that theory?

I don't know any parent in my circles that views their child as a burden.  The burden is being exposed to people that say and think stupid stuff!

Don't teach people that they should see their child as a tragedy handed down as a trial from God.  Our children are blessings from God....not persecutions that God allowed Satan to hand out as tests.

If I can leave any Christians with a new thought it would be this....don't alienate the group of people that need your support and inclusion more than any other.

You don't realize how lonely we are, how excluded we are.  In fact, most of the time while you are ministering to us the "reasons that God has allowed this tragedy in our lives" you're forgetting that we can't even attend a church to hear the full story because you lack a place for our children in your sanctuary or Sunday school.

Can we take a deeper look at how we encourage people?