I run around in my mind thousands of times every day trying to figure out what the missing component is in the public school system for my son. Why do I have so much trouble getting him what he needs from the teachers, aides and other staff? Why do I struggle for him year after year with the same problems that just don't seem to ever stop happening. I come back to one idea every time I consider the problem as a whole.
Trust; they do nothing to earn my son's trust.
My son is completely blind and severely autistic, totally non-verbal. Trust is an important factor here! Yet time after time from one activity to the next in the classroom this trust is not only not sought after, it is broken down.
One day the teacher says she will always bring him out the rear exit for end of day pick up. The next 3 or 4 days she forgets and takes him out the other door and then forces him to walk back through the noisy corridor when she "remembers" that she told us to come to the other side.
He is told that a particular desk in the room is the place he comes to in the morning and periodically throughout the day yet upon his arrival in the mornings to the classroom, his desk (and his desk only) are covered in the teachers supplies and things for her classroom planning. When he sits down he wonders "is this my desk?", "did I sit in the wrong place?".
Then there's the furniture rearranging. Ah the poor bored teacher thinks of some new idea of how to do things and moves things around to better accommodate her understanding of how things should be and in the mean time throws my son into a frenzy of worry and confusion.
He is sensitive to overly loud noises, yet every day the other students in the room have an activity time in which they all gather around a tv screen and "jam" to the very loud music and video on the tv screen while my son sits hiding in the corner. I once walked into the classroom unannounced during this very time and the teacher didn't at first even notice I was there and when she did, couldn't hear a word I was saying, nor I hear her. This is the room for a severely autistic child? This is the planned activity for his classroom? When I pointed out to her that my son was "hiding", her comment was "oh he's just been happy like that all day!". What? you mean he's been sitting there hiding all day? And this is the demeanor you consider happy? What school for special needs did you go to because I need to get you your money back!
Now that I've ranted about yesterdays gripes at school I can move on and tell you what I really came here to say. What is the reason behind school staffs lack of ability to realize that in order to reach my child they have to gain his trust. In order to gain his trust, they have to provide an environment full of routine and consistency that he can build some faith and confidence in. It is not until that trust is gained that he can learn to thrive in an environment that throws a curve ball now and then. He is not equipped to deal with learning new things in an environment that is not conducive to a feeling of trust.
He needs to trust that they can "read" his emotions correctly and will act accordingly. He needs to trust that they are not going to continually frighten the crap out of him every time he enters the classroom. He needs to feel as if these people are willing to enter HIS world just a little bit and understand how things feel and seem to HIM. How is it that these so "highly trained" individuals that spent years in school studying special needs education cannot understand this concept. It is their responsibility to conform to his way of learning. It is not his responsibility to adapt the learning styles of the staff. Isn't that the definition of special needs? He has special needs! That means take special steps to find a way to reach him and provide an education based on his methods of communication and learning. This does not mean "Make it appear to the rest of the world that he can do the same things everyone else can".
Trust! Gain his trust and he will thrive and try all the new things you want him to try. Gain his trust and he will show you the things he already can do! Gain his trust and he will finally be in an environment that provides him the ability to learn. Gain his trust by trusting what his parents tell you over and over and over again. Maybe then you might gain his parents trust as well!
from the author of "Autism and Assholes"
No comments:
Post a Comment