How is it that one classroom teacher, two classroom aides, and two highly trained specialists can forget over one summer's time how to (or how not to) connect with my child that they have worked with for 10 years?
Summer time amnesia is the excuse I'm giving them for now. After a week or two of school, the amnesia excuse will begin to fade and I will most likely develop "diplomacy amnesia" and spew out a verbal bull dozer of frustrated reminders.
I took my son for his "private" before school starts visit to his classroom. The private meeting's sole purpose was to get my son reacquainted with his classroom to ease his transition back to the school year on Monday. Great! This is always a great idea! Gives him a leg up and some ahead of time warning of what is to come. My son did great on the way there even showing excitement and anticipation when he was told we had turned into the school parking lot.
Now, since my son is severely autistic, and he is also completely blind, you would think after all of the years of working with him that these people would understand to give him a few minutes to adjust as he reacquainted himself with the classroom and the staff. Makes sense right? Wrong!
My husband and I waited with my son at the entrance of the special needs area of the school to be let in and my son stood patiently as we watched him mentally catalog the feel of the brick, the glass doors, the smell of the school parking lot, the sound of the A/C equipment, and the feel of the concrete. No problems! The approach to the building went off without a hitch! Then the school doors opened and out popped my sons favorite specialist to greet him. He immediately took her hand after hearing her voice and allowed her to lead him into the building. Fifteen feet down the hall towards the classroom I see my son think "wait a minute", where's my mom? This is when his sweet hand started the search pattern and the hesitating step backwards. I moved closer in and he felt my arm and chose to walk into the classroom with me after some reassuring. Super! He immediately checked out the symbol at the entrance to the room, recognized it and entered the classroom headed straight for his desk as an expression of comfort and familiarity rose over his face. That expression stayed there for all of about two more minutes until he located a set of desks in his way and got confused. My husband and I step in to reassure him that this is his desk and it has just been moved (translation; the whole assembly of desks is completely rearranged). As my husband and I gave each other the usual looks of "what's the deal with always rearranging?", we let it roll off our backs and moved on with our son. Now my son decides this is not going to "roll off his back" at all and refuses to continue walking. "Spaghetti legs" happen quite regularly when he does not want to continue about a particular event. I understand this and I give him time to readjust because I feel that same "spaghetti legs" feeling every time I'm approaching the door at the entrance of the annual ARD meeting at school. No problem. I understood and we waited while he regained his composure. The "favorite" specialist stepped in to help and he felt good enough again to resume to tour. All the while I was wondering if he was thinking "I really thought Mom said school didn't start until Monday." His Dad and I proceeded with our son and the specialists through the next area of the classroom to the "activities" area and this is where the launch of the inquisitors took place.
One classroom aide approached and said hello, my son reached out his hand to check her out then withdrew. Another classroom aide approached and began to talk to him at the same time the other aide was still speaking to him. This is when my son put his left arm inside his shirt and took a step backwards. Now the first aide and the second aide are talking to the specialist still with us about their summer and my son takes another giant step backwards as his other hand goes towards his mouth to stim. All conversations continued and at the same time all three individuals started asking my son and my husband questions about our summer at the same time. So now we have about 7 different dialogues going on out of only 6 people, one of which is non verbal, and only my husband and I notice my son take another giant step backwards and begin to bounce and bite his hand. Everyone else just continued to delight in their own words. Now my husband and I interject and redirect him to the 'favorite' specialist where they walk together to his favorite swing in the classroom. This fixes everything momentarily. The swing is familiar and happy and for a moment, conversations amongst the adults in the room can continue unpunished. Fast forward 10 minutes and the swing is apparently tired so on we go to the rest of the classroom and the staff's verbal flood towards my son begins again. Now he is surrounded by 5 adults plus his parents and all 5 staff members are handing him things, asking him questions and trying to direct him towards objects AT THE SAME TIME, all of this while continuing to try and resume questioning my husband and I regarding his summer progress.
Now my son is led to the hall to visit the "new special needs gymnasium". This is in a part of the school he has never been in and the room is large and echo prone with a huge A/C motor humming along noisily in the background. Problem. Not one more step will be taken. My son does an about face, grabs my husbands arm with a death grip and directs him (by way of pushing) away from this room and down the quiet hall. This is where he stayed for the next 15 minutes for what I think was fear of another attack of the over eager staff. Finally my husband and I talk my son into reentering the classroom and he requests a snack from me out of his handy dandy snack bag I carry with me. This is when the stupidity completely takes over and I am confirmed in my belief that all of the staff is suffering from summer amnesia just like every other year. As it turns out, summer time amnesia is quite serious and can take well into the second or third month of school to cure. (that is, of course if the patient in question will accept treatment) I am confirmed the diagnosis of amnesia because as soon as my son requests his "snack" from my bag, a frenzy takes place of "oh get his lunch tray" and "let's sit at the table" and "where's his special fork?" Now let me ask you a question? How many of you force your children to eat pre packaged snoopy fruit gusher gummy snacks off of a plate with a fork? My sons expression turns from the before apprehensive look to the "are these people really this stupid?" look. At 14 years old, with severe autism, intellectual impairment, and a complete lack of sight, I could honestly swear my son rolled his head in annoyance and disbelief. After about 10 attempts at letting the teachers know that he usually just pops these in his mouth and continues on about his business and that would be fine since we were just there for a short visit, I gave up as no one could (apparently) any longer hear my voice. Summer time amnesia is sometimes accompanied in extreme cases by selective deafness.
After going about all of this business for only about an hour and a half (but seemed to be much longer), my son informed my husband and I that we were done by grabbing both of our hands and pulling us in the direction of the exit. I grabbed at the opportunity like it was a bag of free money and walked happily out of the room with him and towards the parking lot listening to the entourage that followed behind with a list of meaningless reminders for the upcoming first day of school. My son helped us locate our vehicle down the side walk and into the parking area and found his door to the truck, happily assisted us in getting him in and buckled up, reached for his giant stuffed pillow to squeeze and smiled with what seemed to be a thought of "poor little assholes can't even remember how this stuff all works".
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